1 00:00:47,267 --> 00:00:50,441 - [ Doorbell Buzzes ] - Com e in. 2 00:00:52,506 --> 00:00:54,508 Hi. 3 00:00:57,010 --> 00:01:01,186 Bob? Uh, where are you, Bob? 4 00:01:01,248 --> 00:01:03,421 I'm out here in the garden, Howard. 5 00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:07,795 Oh, you call your balcony a garden. I call my balcony a lanai. Sounds better. 6 00:01:07,854 --> 00:01:11,301 Why don't you call it a den? You've always wanted a den. 7 00:01:11,358 --> 00:01:15,204 You know, there's something different about you. What's different about you? 8 00:01:15,262 --> 00:01:17,606 What's different about you? I know. You're wearing a sweatshirt. 9 00:01:17,664 --> 00:01:19,837 I've never seen you in a sweatshirt before. 10 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,403 I always wear a sweatshirt when I wanna be sloppy. 11 00:01:22,469 --> 00:01:26,645 Yeah, but it's all starched and you got a crease. 12 00:01:26,706 --> 00:01:31,280 Well, I like to be neat when I'm sloppy. You want a club soda? 13 00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:33,847 No, thank you. I hear there's a storm over Cincinnati... 14 00:01:33,914 --> 00:01:36,485 and, uh, with all that carbonation I might hurt myself. 15 00:01:38,485 --> 00:01:41,659 - Hi. Oh, hi, Howard. - [Door Closes] 16 00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:44,395 - So, how was your morning, honey? - Ah, fabulous. 17 00:01:44,457 --> 00:01:47,631 I went to see a house that was for sale with Ann Montgomery, and she hated it. 18 00:01:47,694 --> 00:01:49,435 That doesn't sound too fabulous. 19 00:01:49,496 --> 00:01:52,966 Well, Bob, you know Ann has horrible taste. The house was fabulous. 20 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:55,513 - Fabulous. - Are you guys moving? 21 00:01:55,569 --> 00:01:57,708 - Absolutely not. - Well-- 22 00:01:57,771 --> 00:02:00,115 Emily. 23 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:03,948 I only said, “Well? 24 00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:07,480 Emily, somehow your wells have a funny way of becoming yeses. 25 00:02:07,547 --> 00:02:11,495 Oh. Well, okay.just come look at it. Then you can make up your mind. 26 00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:14,725 Honey, my mind is made up along with Ann Montgomery's. We both hate the house. 27 00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:17,997 - Uh-huh. - Look, I can see you guys are having a fight, so I-- 28 00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:20,060 Uh, no, no, no. No, we're not. 29 00:02:20,126 --> 00:02:24,233 Now, nobody is forcing you to buy the house. just come with me and take a look at it. 30 00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:27,369 Emily, I-l don't like to be forced into something I don't want to do. 31 00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:32,144 - No one is forcing you. - Well, I don't know what you call it, but I call it a fight. 32 00:02:32,205 --> 00:02:34,879 Howard, we're not having a fight. 33 00:02:34,941 --> 00:02:38,912 I just will not spend an enormous amount of money to wind up in a place I'm going to hate. 34 00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:42,722 Bob, you are stubborn and cheap. 35 00:02:45,552 --> 00:02:47,156 You're right, Howard. We're having a fight. 36 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:51,726 Yeah, a good one. Well, I guess I'll go to Hong Kong, Paris and Madrid. 37 00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:55,068 - Have a nice flight, Howard. - Yeah,you too. 38 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,007 Oh, Bob. I'm sorryl made a scene. 39 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:06,880 Of course you don't have to look at the house if you don't want to. 40 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:10,444 No. I-l was being close-minded and unfair. 41 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,683 I'll, uh, go out to the house. I'll look at it. 42 00:03:12,746 --> 00:03:15,192 I'll-I'll hate it, and then we'll have it out of the way. 43 00:03:18,852 --> 00:03:21,059 And so that's your dining room. 44 00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:24,796 And don't you just love this darling breakfast nook? 45 00:03:24,858 --> 00:03:29,364 Ah, I love it. Don't you just love it, Bob? 46 00:03:33,466 --> 00:03:35,412 Mmm. 47 00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:40,144 Here we are back in the living room again. 48 00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:43,210 Have you ever seen so many large rooms in such a small house? 49 00:03:43,276 --> 00:03:46,883 - No, I never have. Have you, Bob? - [ Mumbles] 50 00:03:46,947 --> 00:03:52,226 And the closet. I've never seen such a large guest closet in such a little house. 51 00:03:52,285 --> 00:03:55,232 And there's a light in here and lots and lots of shelves. 52 00:03:55,288 --> 00:03:58,235 I don't know about you, but I always need more shelves than I have. 53 00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,293 Now, let's see if I can find that light. 54 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:05,366 Uh, wh-what do you think, Bob? Do you love it? 55 00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:08,777 Emily, it's hard to love a closet. 56 00:04:09,869 --> 00:04:12,145 I mean the whole house, Bob. 57 00:04:12,205 --> 00:04:17,279 I have to admit. You-you were right. It's, uh, a great house. 58 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:21,690 - Oh, Bob. - And the Queen Mary is a great boat, but... 59 00:04:21,748 --> 00:04:27,096 just because something is great, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to buy it. 60 00:04:27,153 --> 00:04:29,633 Did you say you were going to buy it? How nice. 61 00:04:29,689 --> 00:04:32,329 No, we haven't decided yet. 62 00:04:32,392 --> 00:04:34,599 But you do admit you like the house? 63 00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:36,766 L-I like the house. 64 00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:40,175 I don't think I mentioned the beamed ceilings. Aren't they wonderful? 65 00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:42,577 You know, they don't build houses like this today. 66 00:04:42,635 --> 00:04:45,445 Ah, wonderful. How old is this house? 67 00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:47,143 Three years. 68 00:04:51,711 --> 00:04:55,955 I guess-- I guess that was the last good year for houses. 69 00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:58,360 And on your left is the living room. 70 00:04:58,418 --> 00:05:00,921 This is easily big enough for two, full-scale couches. 71 00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:02,989 Oh, hi, Shirley. I didn't know you were here. 72 00:05:03,056 --> 00:05:05,900 - That's all right. We're just about finished. - Mind if we play through? 73 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,700 - [ Both Laugh] - Not at all. 74 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:11,106 Well, this is your living room. 75 00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:15,340 Have you ever seen such a large living room in such a small house? 76 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:19,043 Look at the beamed ceilings. They just don't build houses like this anymore. 77 00:05:19,105 --> 00:05:21,813 Your linen closet has lots and lots of shelves. 78 00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:24,685 I don't know about you, but I never seem to have enough shelves. 79 00:05:24,744 --> 00:05:27,918 Now, the dining room is right through here, Thanks, Shirley. Bye. 80 00:05:27,981 --> 00:05:31,895 Bye. He's always selling, selling, selling. He never lets up for a second. 81 00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:37,196 - So, have you decided yet? - Well, um, I think we need time alone to discuss it. 82 00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:39,259 Fine.just don't take too long... 83 00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:43,102 because I could tell that other couple was very interested in buying this house. 84 00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:47,111 Oh, really? He seemed a little bored. 85 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:49,841 Doesn't mean a thing. She likes it. 86 00:05:49,903 --> 00:05:53,510 Once you get the wife interested, the husbandjust goes along. 87 00:05:53,573 --> 00:05:56,349 Oh, let me see if I can find that closet light for you. 88 00:05:56,409 --> 00:06:00,915 [Chuckles] She didn't mean you, Bob. 89 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:03,824 You never go along with anything. 90 00:06:05,151 --> 00:06:07,529 Thank you. 91 00:06:07,587 --> 00:06:09,533 [Elevator Bell Dings] 92 00:06:12,926 --> 00:06:15,770 - Morning, Carol. - Oh, hi, Bob. Where you been? 93 00:06:15,829 --> 00:06:18,469 - I was looking at a house. - Bob, you're buying a new house? 94 00:06:18,531 --> 00:06:20,807 Well, we werejust browsing. 95 00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,813 Any phone calls or messages? 96 00:06:22,869 --> 00:06:26,476 Yeah, uh, Mr, Wesley called-- that new patient referred by Mr. Carlin? 97 00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:29,213 - Oh, yeah. - He's gonna be a little late. 98 00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:31,482 Bob, don't think he's gonna be one of your quick cures. 99 00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:34,286 Why do you say that? 100 00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:38,318 Well, he's late because he can't figure out what color socks to wear. 101 00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:42,797 Any-Any other calls? 102 00:06:42,856 --> 00:06:48,306 Uh, Mrs. Wolf son from the Bull's-eye Real Estate Agency called... 103 00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:50,363 five times. 104 00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:53,104 Beats four of a kind. 105 00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:55,112 You want me to get her for you? 106 00:06:55,168 --> 00:06:57,774 Uh, no, no. I'm sure she'll deal me another one. Anything else? 107 00:06:57,837 --> 00:06:59,817 Yeah, Bob. I'd like to talk to you for a minute. 108 00:06:59,873 --> 00:07:04,185 - Sure. What about? - Uh, in private. 109 00:07:04,244 --> 00:07:06,850 - Oh, one of those long, private minutes. - [ Mouths Words] 110 00:07:06,913 --> 00:07:09,086 Okay. Come on. 111 00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:18,802 Are you waiting for me to bark? 112 00:07:18,858 --> 00:07:21,498 Oh, Bob. I'm sorry. 113 00:07:21,561 --> 00:07:24,132 - Here. - [Chuckles] 114 00:07:24,197 --> 00:07:27,201 Bob, this is really hard for me to do. 115 00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:30,441 I've never been good at this, and I love working here... 116 00:07:30,503 --> 00:07:34,280 and you're the only one I can talk to because you're the only one that can understand. 117 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,843 But I'm really embarrassed asking. 118 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:38,981 But it's gotten to the point where I've got no choice. 119 00:07:39,045 --> 00:07:43,221 I just hate to ask. I mean, I know you've got a lot on your mind... 120 00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:46,287 but, darn it, I've got to start thinking about myself here. 121 00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:50,732 I've never done this before. Bob, I need a $10 raise. 122 00:07:50,790 --> 00:07:54,795 - You got it. - I do? 123 00:07:57,630 --> 00:08:00,509 How about 15? 124 00:08:01,868 --> 00:08:03,541 No. 125 00:08:03,603 --> 00:08:07,278 Oh, no. Ten's fine. Oh, I love 10. 126 00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:11,345 Thank you, Bob. But see, I had to ask about the 15, because if I didn't... 127 00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:15,518 I'd have spent the rest of my life wondering if the 15 would be as easy as the 1 O. 128 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:19,029 - Now-Now you know that it wouldn't. - Right. 129 00:08:20,086 --> 00:08:22,862 [Phone Rings] 130 00:08:22,922 --> 00:08:25,425 Oh-Oh, here. Oh, please, please let me get that for you. 131 00:08:25,491 --> 00:08:28,995 I know it's just a small thing, but I'd really like to. 132 00:08:30,763 --> 00:08:34,905 Hello? Oh,just a minute. Mrs. Wolf son. 133 00:08:34,968 --> 00:08:37,107 Oh, uh, tell her I'm busy. 134 00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:40,845 I'm sorry, Dr. Hartley is busy and can't be disturbed. 135 00:08:40,907 --> 00:08:45,185 Just a minute, I'll ask him. What time can you call her? 136 00:08:45,245 --> 00:08:48,590 Carol, for somebody whojust got a $10-a-week raise, you aren't, uh-- 137 00:08:48,648 --> 00:08:50,525 you aren't doing a good job of ducking phone calls. 138 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:55,760 Right. Dr. Hartley's in surgery. He'll call you the moment he gets out. 139 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,362 [Water Running] 140 00:09:06,366 --> 00:09:08,312 Jerry, you got a minute to talk? 141 00:09:08,368 --> 00:09:11,372 Oh, sure, Bob. just washing my hands. 142 00:09:11,437 --> 00:09:14,281 You know I wash my hands on the average of 46 times a clay? 143 00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:16,342 Even more ifl've had ribs for lunch. 144 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:18,912 - I remember one time I tried some new soap-- Jerry? 145 00:09:18,978 --> 00:09:20,924 - Hmm? - No, no. Me talk, you listen. 146 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,960 Oh, yeah. Sure. Have a seat. 147 00:09:23,016 --> 00:09:26,486 Okay, Bob. What should we talk about? 148 00:09:26,552 --> 00:09:30,466 Well, I would love to talk about the Bulls and the Cubs andjack Nicklaus. 149 00:09:30,523 --> 00:09:32,469 You know, fun things? 150 00:09:32,525 --> 00:09:37,406 But I'm getting pressured into buying a house, and, uh, I don't know what to do. 151 00:09:37,463 --> 00:09:41,001 That's simple. Tell Emily you're not going to buy the house because you don't like it. 152 00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:43,240 Yeah, butjerry, I love the house. 153 00:09:43,303 --> 00:09:46,773 Oh. Then tell Emily you're not going to buy the house because you love it. 154 00:09:46,839 --> 00:09:50,184 Jerry, I-l love our apartment, you know? 155 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:52,746 I've finally gotten everything together. 156 00:09:52,812 --> 00:09:55,986 You know, my work is working for me. The home is working for me. 157 00:09:56,049 --> 00:09:58,723 I mean, everything is working for me, and I just don't wanna change it. 158 00:09:58,785 --> 00:10:02,562 I mean, on the other hand, I know eventually we're gonna have to buy a house... 159 00:10:02,622 --> 00:10:04,295 and it's, uh-- it's a great house. 160 00:10:04,357 --> 00:10:08,533 I mean, look at me, and I haven't even seen a termite report yet. 161 00:10:08,594 --> 00:10:12,770 Bob, I'm gonna offer you some basic: advice-- 162 00:10:12,832 --> 00:10:15,972 not as a dentist, but as your friend. 163 00:10:16,035 --> 00:10:20,006 You're talking about a house here. Now, a house is big. 164 00:10:21,874 --> 00:10:25,879 That's like, uh-- like a new chair. 165 00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:30,951 See, you don't buy anything that big without giving it a lot of thought. 166 00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:35,193 You take your time. Now, if you were meant to have that house, you'll have it. 167 00:10:35,254 --> 00:10:37,632 If you're not, you won't. [Chuckles] 168 00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:41,035 Houses can be on the market for months-- for years. 169 00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:44,439 - I mean, the point is, Bob, you got to stay cool. - [ Knocking] 170 00:10:44,497 --> 00:10:46,374 - Yeah? - HLJer. 171 00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:50,539 - It's Emily. - Bob, why didn't you answer Mrs. Wolf son's calls? 172 00:10:50,603 --> 00:10:52,810 Well, because I didn't wanna talk to her. 173 00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:54,818 Emily, what-what are you doing here? 174 00:10:54,874 --> 00:10:57,548 Well, the house. We have to make a decision on the house. 175 00:10:57,610 --> 00:11:00,614 Emily, uh, a house is a big thing. 176 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:05,527 I mean, if-if-- if you're meant to have a house, you'll have a house. 177 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:09,431 If you're not meant to have a house, you-you won't have a house. 178 00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:16,096 I mean, the main thing is that we-we've got time. 179 00:11:16,162 --> 00:11:19,336 No, we don't. The other couple who looked at the house made an offer. 180 00:11:19,399 --> 00:11:21,902 We've got to decide right now if we want that house or not. 181 00:11:21,968 --> 00:11:24,039 Wow, an offer so fast. That must be a great house. 182 00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:27,607 Oh, it is,jerry. You should see it. Beamed ceilings, huge rooms... 183 00:11:27,673 --> 00:11:30,381 - a big stone fireplace-- - Gee, that sounds fantastic. 184 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:32,787 You know, houses like that do not stay on the market very long. 185 00:11:32,845 --> 00:11:36,349 Bob, if you- if you like that house, you betterjust grab that house. 186 00:11:36,416 --> 00:11:39,761 - Jerry, will you please stay cool? - Oh, yeah. 187 00:11:39,819 --> 00:11:43,494 I mean, now how do we know if there is an offer on the house? 188 00:11:43,556 --> 00:11:46,400 And how do we know what the owner is going to think of that offer? 189 00:11:46,459 --> 00:11:48,769 I mean, how-how do we know any of those things? 190 00:11:48,828 --> 00:11:51,638 Oh, because Mrs. Wolf son is right outside and she'll tell us. 191 00:11:51,697 --> 00:11:54,439 Okay, Bob. Let me give you some basic advice. 192 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,844 Don't make your first offer too high because you can't come down. 193 00:11:56,903 --> 00:11:59,645 - You can always come up on the counter, but don't make it too low-- -j erry. j erry. 194 00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,844 One wife at a time. All right? 195 00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,751 Excuse me. 196 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:08,316 Oh, uh, Dr. Hartley, I'm so sorry to bother you in the middle of surgery... 197 00:12:08,381 --> 00:12:12,090 but if you don't come up with an offer higher than the other offer, you may lose your house. 198 00:12:12,151 --> 00:12:14,222 All right. Now, how much is the other offer? 199 00:12:14,287 --> 00:12:18,099 Oh, it's unethical for me to tell you that. 200 00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:22,003 However, if you make an offer, I'll present it to the owner, and we'll be in the running. 201 00:12:22,061 --> 00:12:26,510 Yeah. Oh, Bob, I met the owner, and he's really a nice guy. And, um, I think he likes us. 202 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:30,810 It's important to have the owner like you. That'll put you way ahead of the other couple. 203 00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:33,214 Oops. Oh, so sorry. 204 00:12:33,272 --> 00:12:38,346 Excuse me, Bob. Mr. Wesley, your new patient, is here, and, uh... 205 00:12:38,411 --> 00:12:42,951 just so you'll be prepared- he looks really depressed, and he's not wearing any socks. 206 00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:51,768 Good, Carol. I'll tell him what I went through here and it'll probably cheer him up. 207 00:12:59,932 --> 00:13:02,640 [Whimpers] 208 00:13:07,807 --> 00:13:09,753 [Whimpers] 209 00:13:11,244 --> 00:13:15,920 Bob, I can't sleep with you making all that noise. 210 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,354 Emily, if I could sleep, I would sleep. 211 00:13:20,419 --> 00:13:25,368 Why don't you go to sleep, and then we'll at least have half the bed asleep. 212 00:13:25,424 --> 00:13:28,132 You're thinking about the house, aren't you? 213 00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:30,196 [Whimpers] 214 00:13:32,298 --> 00:13:35,677 Well, I hope you're not sorry we decided to bid on the house. 215 00:13:35,735 --> 00:13:39,080 No, Emily. I'm not sorry. 216 00:13:39,138 --> 00:13:41,049 You decided to bid on it. 217 00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:43,348 Oh, no. 218 00:13:43,409 --> 00:13:46,083 You're not gonna lay that off on me. 219 00:13:46,145 --> 00:13:49,558 Now, we were both in your office when we both decided to make that offer. 220 00:13:49,615 --> 00:13:51,561 You signed that deposit check. 221 00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:56,498 Emily, after an hour with a man with no socks on, I would've signed anything. 222 00:13:59,659 --> 00:14:02,401 That is so typical. 223 00:14:02,461 --> 00:14:05,465 That is so-- 224 00:14:13,105 --> 00:14:15,449 You aren'tjust going to leave it at that, are you? 225 00:14:15,508 --> 00:14:20,253 You hate change. You fight change. You resist change. 226 00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:24,261 I do not resist change. I just like staying where I am. 227 00:14:26,085 --> 00:14:29,089 Oh, Bob. Now, why are we doing this? 228 00:14:29,155 --> 00:14:32,159 I mean, we're talking about something wonderful. 229 00:14:32,224 --> 00:14:34,898 Something we're both gonna love. A house. 230 00:14:38,197 --> 00:14:40,040 [Whimpers] 231 00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:44,708 What is it that's bothering you? 232 00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:48,149 Well, there are a lot of small things I have on my mind. 233 00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:52,553 They'rejust small things, but, well, they're on my mind. 234 00:14:52,612 --> 00:14:56,617 Like-- Like trash cans. 235 00:14:56,682 --> 00:14:58,684 I mean, if we get that house... 236 00:14:58,751 --> 00:15:01,254 one Saturday, I'm gonna have to go to a hardware store... 237 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,631 and I'm gonna have to buy a trash can. 238 00:15:07,226 --> 00:15:11,174 Now, how am I gonna get the trash can into the trunk of our car? 239 00:15:12,665 --> 00:15:15,168 Oh, Bob, I've thought of all the problems... 240 00:15:15,234 --> 00:15:17,578 but the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. 241 00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:20,584 Like, well, like a garden. 242 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,314 I mean, won't it be wonderful to just wake up in the morning... 243 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:26,550 and look out and see our own garden? 244 00:15:26,612 --> 00:15:30,116 And who's gonna take care of that garden? 245 00:15:30,182 --> 00:15:33,459 Bob. [ Kiss] 246 00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,470 That's another thing I'll have to get at the hardware store. 247 00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:45,532 A lawn mower and mulch. 248 00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:53,544 I'll never be able to get the trash can in the trunk of our car... 249 00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:58,711 unless I make two trips. 250 00:16:01,714 --> 00:16:04,888 I could rent a trailer at the gas station. 251 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:11,565 Trailers are almost impossible to get on Saturdays. 252 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,006 [Whimpers] 253 00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:23,575 So, I was very shy and self-conscious because I was so short. 254 00:16:23,636 --> 00:16:26,981 My mom kept telling me I'd be six-feet tall like my dad. 255 00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:30,213 Well, still waiting. 256 00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,347 But, you are tall, Mr. Carlin. 257 00:16:32,411 --> 00:16:37,190 Lifts. Without 'em I'd be shortjust like you. 258 00:16:39,885 --> 00:16:42,729 Anyway, I fell in love with this real tall girl... 259 00:16:42,788 --> 00:16:45,234 and that's when I bought my first pair of elevator shoes. 260 00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:48,670 I can still remember the saleslady pretending they were a normal pair of shoes. 261 00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:51,402 - It was really humiliating - [Yawning] Mm-hmm. 262 00:16:51,464 --> 00:16:55,378 - You're bored with me. - No, I'm just tired. 263 00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:57,846 You're tired of me. It's the same thing. 264 00:16:57,903 --> 00:17:01,350 - I couldn't sleep last night. - That happens to me every night. 265 00:17:01,407 --> 00:17:05,355 I think, uh-- I think now might be a good time to stop for today, Mr. Carlin. 266 00:17:05,411 --> 00:17:07,584 Right, it is a good time to stop. 267 00:17:07,646 --> 00:17:11,560 I'd hate to have you yawning through my only love affair. 268 00:17:13,986 --> 00:17:16,489 I'll, uh-- I'll see you next Thursday. 269 00:17:16,555 --> 00:17:18,228 - Oh, hi, Mr. Carlin. - Hi. 270 00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:20,634 Oh, Bob, your real estate lady's been calling. 271 00:17:20,693 --> 00:17:23,867 She says she has to see you tonight about the house, and she'll meet you anyplace. 272 00:17:23,929 --> 00:17:26,933 Your apartment, your office, or what subway are you taking? 273 00:17:26,999 --> 00:17:30,105 That probably means they've accepted the offer. I was afraid of that. 274 00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:34,379 - Hey, you're buying a house? - Well, we have a bid in on one. 275 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,977 You should've said something. You know I'm in the land development business. 276 00:17:37,042 --> 00:17:39,886 This is a house, not a swamp. 277 00:17:39,945 --> 00:17:42,949 I know about all kinds of real estate. 278 00:17:43,015 --> 00:17:45,791 - What neighborhood is your house in? - The, um, Marveiia district. 279 00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:48,730 - Uh-oh. - What? 280 00:17:48,788 --> 00:17:52,930 - Nothing. - What's wrong with the Marveiia district? 281 00:17:52,992 --> 00:17:57,839 Well, I heard they're gonna put a new, uh, smelting plant in there. 282 00:17:57,897 --> 00:18:00,571 - I can't believe that. - I can't either. It's probably just a rumor. 283 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:03,170 - [ Elevator Bell Dings] - I'll see you. 284 00:18:03,235 --> 00:18:06,580 We, uh-- We have a very reputable real estate lady. 285 00:18:06,639 --> 00:18:09,142 - I'm sure she would've told us. - Oh, she probably would've. 286 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,210 - Who is she? - Shirley Wolf son. 287 00:18:11,277 --> 00:18:12,950 Uh-oh. 288 00:18:18,551 --> 00:18:20,553 Well, listen, Bob. Don't listen to him. 289 00:18:20,619 --> 00:18:22,656 You know what a downer he is. That's why he comes here. 290 00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:26,567 And anyway, he said it was just a rumor, and you know how rumors are. 291 00:18:26,625 --> 00:18:29,299 Do you know, for years they kept saying they were gonna build a hospital... 292 00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:31,534 across the street from my apartment house? 293 00:18:31,597 --> 00:18:35,511 And it turned out to be totally untrue. It was merely a clinic. 294 00:18:37,169 --> 00:18:40,013 Thanks a lot, Carol. First Mr. Carlin, then you. 295 00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:42,416 - The first thing you knowjerry will come out-- - Bob. Oh, good. 296 00:18:42,474 --> 00:18:46,513 Glad I caught you. I just talked to my business manager. Here's what you gotta look out for. 297 00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:49,924 Copper pipes. Don't let 'em slip off plastic pipes on you. 298 00:18:49,982 --> 00:18:53,327 Oil and mineral rights. Bob, make sure you keep your oil and mineral rights. 299 00:18:53,385 --> 00:18:56,195 Don't let 'em take that away from you. lfthere's a crawl space... 300 00:18:56,255 --> 00:18:58,826 underneath the basement, take a flashlight, don some coveralls. 301 00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:02,464 You wanna crawl under there “checking for seepage and dry rot.“ 302 00:19:02,528 --> 00:19:04,474 Now, check out the water heater. 303 00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:06,703 If you don't have a 40-gallon tank, you're gonna have to put one in. 304 00:19:06,765 --> 00:19:10,178 Check the electrical. If you don't have a 220 line, you're in big-- 305 00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:14,147 - Emily. - Hi, dear. 306 00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:16,709 Honey, I don't have time for that right now. 307 00:19:19,044 --> 00:19:23,049 We have to talk before Mrs. Wolf son, the real estate lady, gets here. 308 00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:25,686 - Well, we can't. - Honey, we have to. 309 00:19:25,751 --> 00:19:27,856 Uh, we can't 'cause we're not alone. 310 00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:33,893 Well, what do you think, gals? I mean, it's a great apartment, isn't it? 311 00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:37,634 I mean, it's close to where the action is. The shopping center. The airport. 312 00:19:37,696 --> 00:19:40,199 My apartment. Oh, hi, Bob. 313 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,110 You-You're right, Emily. We're not alone. 314 00:19:43,168 --> 00:19:45,580 Well, we'rejust finishing up. Excuse me. 315 00:19:45,638 --> 00:19:48,642 If you divide the rent three ways it won't be bad at all. 316 00:19:48,707 --> 00:19:50,653 I'll put in a good word with the manager. 317 00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:54,885 - I won't tell him why you were thrown out of your last place. - We'll let you know, Howard. 318 00:19:54,947 --> 00:19:57,052 Yeah. Bye. Bye. 319 00:19:57,116 --> 00:20:01,189 Stewardesses. The blonde's first-class. 320 00:20:04,523 --> 00:20:06,730 What's happening with your house? I mean, when do you move? 321 00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:09,136 Well, they haven't officially accepted our offer, Howard. 322 00:20:09,194 --> 00:20:14,644 Ah, well. They will. You know something, uh, I'm gonna miss you guys. 323 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,442 Yeah, I could see how broken up you were, Howard. 324 00:20:19,338 --> 00:20:24,083 Well, I'd rather have you and Emily, but if I can't have you, I'd rather have them. 325 00:20:24,143 --> 00:20:27,818 Well, um... 326 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:32,886 look, if you, uh, need any help moving, uh, be glad to help. 327 00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:37,298 I mean, if you need any suitcases or boxes. 328 00:20:37,356 --> 00:20:40,860 Uh, I mean, uh, don't worry about the mailman. 329 00:20:40,926 --> 00:20:45,602 I'll just tell the mailman you don't live here anymore. 330 00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:51,171 Don't worry about the mailman or the-- don't worry about the milkman... 331 00:20:51,236 --> 00:20:53,580 or the paperboy. 332 00:20:53,639 --> 00:20:55,983 I'll just tell everybody you don't live here anymore. 333 00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:58,282 [Crying] I'm sorry, I-- 334 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:03,521 - Oh, Howard. - I'm sorry. I think I'd better go. 335 00:21:05,851 --> 00:21:08,354 [Crying] 336 00:21:10,689 --> 00:21:12,862 - [ Door Closes] - Oh, Bob. 337 00:21:12,925 --> 00:21:15,963 lam gonna miss that Howard so much. 338 00:21:16,028 --> 00:21:20,670 Emily, um, I'm gonna miss everything about this apartment. Sit down. 339 00:21:22,668 --> 00:21:25,171 L-I think we've made a terrible mistake. 340 00:21:25,237 --> 00:21:27,683 I've been feeling it all afternoon. 341 00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:31,950 I started to have your doubts this morning, so I went to take another look at the house. 342 00:21:32,011 --> 00:21:34,013 Oh, good, honey. I'm glad you did that. 343 00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:36,525 Now reassure me, e-everything is gonna be okay. 344 00:21:36,582 --> 00:21:39,563 It needs paint... bad. 345 00:21:39,618 --> 00:21:42,462 That was onjerry's list. 346 00:21:42,521 --> 00:21:46,765 Check peeling paint around windowsills. 347 00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:48,998 Emily, you didn't happen to put on some coveralls... 348 00:21:49,061 --> 00:21:52,372 and crawl under the house to see if there was dry rot? 349 00:21:52,431 --> 00:21:56,345 Oh, Bob, I think we've made a terrible mistake. 350 00:21:56,402 --> 00:22:00,748 Emily, I-- I don't want that house... 351 00:22:00,806 --> 00:22:03,184 more than anything in the world. 352 00:22:03,242 --> 00:22:06,917 - Neither do I. - [ Doorbell Buzzes ] 353 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,917 That's Mrs. Wolf son. She'll be all smiley... 354 00:22:10,983 --> 00:22:14,396 and telling us how happy we're gonna be in our darling new house. 355 00:22:14,453 --> 00:22:18,959 - Hello. - Honey, it's-it's Mrs. Wolf son... 356 00:22:19,024 --> 00:22:20,970 and it looks like she has good news for us. 357 00:22:21,026 --> 00:22:23,529 - Let me take your coat, Mrs. Wolf son. - Oh, thank you. 358 00:22:23,595 --> 00:22:27,441 You know, I've been running all day today. My gosh, what a darling apartment. 359 00:22:27,499 --> 00:22:29,706 - Thank you. - Yeah, we-we like it. 360 00:22:29,768 --> 00:22:33,739 You know, I thinkl have somebody that might be interested in this. 361 00:22:33,806 --> 00:22:36,412 - Good. - Well, let me tell you about your house. 362 00:22:36,475 --> 00:22:40,082 The owner's just delighted that you bid on it because he really likes you. 363 00:22:40,145 --> 00:22:42,421 He knows you have taste and integrity... 364 00:22:42,481 --> 00:22:46,395 and you'rejust exactly the kind of people he would like to see get the house. 365 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:49,126 - Uh-huh. - So, I presented your offer to him. 366 00:22:49,188 --> 00:22:53,034 - Unfortunately, he turned it down. - [ Laughs] 367 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:58,104 - Areyou all right? -[Continues Laughing] 368 00:22:58,163 --> 00:23:02,236 I'm just-- I'm just very disappointed. [Laughs] 369 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:08,916 Emily, they've, uh-- they've turned down the offer on the house. 370 00:23:08,974 --> 00:23:11,614 - [ Both Laughing] - Really? 371 00:23:11,677 --> 00:23:16,422 See, my, uh-- my wife is just-just as disappointed as I am. 372 00:23:17,683 --> 00:23:19,560 Well, maybe you'll feel better in the morning. 373 00:23:20,853 --> 00:23:23,356 L-I doubt it. 374 00:23:28,861 --> 00:23:30,363 [Elevator Bell Dings] 375 00:23:31,363 --> 00:23:33,274 - Good morning. - Hey, Bob. 376 00:23:33,332 --> 00:23:36,313 Hey, Bob. Hey, you look really happy. You must've gotten your new house. 377 00:23:36,368 --> 00:23:38,871 No, we lost it, and we couldn't be happier. 378 00:23:38,937 --> 00:23:40,939 [Chuckles] See, Bob?just like I told you. 379 00:23:41,006 --> 00:23:44,180 You didn't want that house. You bid low. You lost it. Now you're happy. 380 00:23:44,243 --> 00:23:47,520 Worked out perfect. 381 00:23:47,579 --> 00:23:51,425 - [ Phone Rings] - Doctor's office. 382 00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:54,327 Just a minute. Bob, it's Mrs. Wolf son. 383 00:23:54,386 --> 00:23:56,525 Doyou wanna talk or shall I tell heryou're in surgery? 384 00:23:56,588 --> 00:23:58,932 No, I'll talk to her. 385 00:24:00,926 --> 00:24:04,271 H-Hello? Hello, Mrs. Wolf son. 386 00:24:05,697 --> 00:24:08,610 Yeah, you were right. We feel much better this morning. 387 00:24:09,935 --> 00:24:12,279 You have another house. 388 00:24:12,337 --> 00:24:15,511 More darling than the other one. 389 00:24:15,574 --> 00:24:18,248 No, I don't think my wife and I will be in the market for a house... 390 00:24:18,310 --> 00:24:20,654 oh, for-for two or three years. 391 00:24:22,314 --> 00:24:25,318 No. I wouldn't want to make an appointment that far in advance. 392 00:24:27,986 --> 00:24:31,991 I don't know what train I'll be taking home tonight, no. 393 00:24:32,057 --> 00:24:34,731 Mrs. Wolf son-- 394 00:24:34,793 --> 00:24:37,637 Well, thank you. Mrs-Mrs. Wolf-- 395 00:24:37,696 --> 00:24:40,973 Uh, Mrs. Wolf son, I'm sorry, but l-l'vejust been called into surgery. 396 00:25:12,698 --> 00:25:14,075 [ Mews]